Friday, June 20, 2008

Burning Both Ends


I have to tell you that it has not been easy as of late to write, not easy at all. There seems to be this strange mountain of responsibility strapped on my shoulders that suddenly appeared out of no where. My once late night learning sessions have quickly transformed into early evenings where I find myself grotesquely flopped up on the couch and the laptop still safely snug in its bag.

I have reached a point where my time is saturated and I can no longer bleed the stone. Summer vacation seems to be calling for me this year...and I long for the time to pause but for a moment and reflect. Perhaps then I will find the much needed energy to devote to my family, my children, my writing. I can hear my wife gently saying, "you know, the children will not be young forever." She is so right!

Roles as of Today
~ Husband
~ Father
~ Teacher
~ Consultant
~ Landscaper
~ Life Long Learner

~ It surely seems as though I am burning the candle at both ends ~

2 comments:

  1. I love the concept of "life long learner" -- as I also love the concept of human beings as "works in progress." It seems increasingly important and necessary to affirm this mentality in today's product-oriented culture. No one cares where you've been, what your story is. We're simply "Americans"-- it's our job to make something of ourselves, pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, turn our rags into riches. We're a country of immigrants, after all-- no one can deny that. But what we forget is that for many immigrants their origins are precious-- where they came from, how they're fighting to become a part of this society, all of that is a party of their story. Once we stop acknowledging our ancestry, we begin to think we're entitled to land, wealth, affluence. There is a certain anxiety, I think, that comes with this entitlement, because suddenly our identity is very future oriented-- how we're going to put our singular name on the map. What book will I write? How will I distinguish myself in my professional field? But what about the days when your last name gave you all the identity you required? You were marked by your family and your history. But I've gotten off topic. Sorry. I think my point is just that we can begin to believe we're only as valuable as the product we create.

    On a personal level, I am refreshed by the idea that maybe where I'm going is only as important as how I'm getting there. Seems like we're reminded of this by artists and philosophers all the time, but how quickly I forget it! Thanks for the reminder, John!

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  2. Zac,

    At this point, much of my thinking, energy, and ideas are a direct result of wanting to provide for my children. Now that I am knee deep in dadhood my perspectives on life and the world have changed at so many levels.

    I would agree with you that somehow our ideals and values can get lost when we push too hard to "achieve." For me, I need time to take two steps back once in awhile to get a fresh look at what's goin' on and try to take in the moment.

    Realizing where we came from, getting to know the stories of our ancestors and finding time to appreciate what we have as Americans is definitely critical - for all of us I think.

    Thanks so much Zac for an incredibly thoughtful comment and I do hope you enjoy your journey!

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